But today, I endured this milestone alone. She smiled at me, head cocked slightly to the side, proud and confident, hands on hips as I snapped a couple of photographs to record the moment. As if I needed a physical record of something that will remain in my memory forever.
I literally set the alarm clock to make my photo. Why was it important to take photos? Because her father wasn't here to witness this milestone. And even though he chose that reality and I could just as easily have shut him out like many suggest is appropriate, it was within my power to include him. Again, it was a gift I could give that cost me nothing and meant a lot to him. And I know he appreciated it.
Why do people feel the need to punish one another? I will never understand that dynamic. Don't get me wrong -- I have more than my share of mean thoughts. I am no saint. I don't even play one on TV. It's just that who does it end up hurting, really, when you do something to harm another? I believe it damages your own psyche. And mine is damaged enough already.
Anyway, as I stood in the hallway with my iPhone, prepared to photograph KJ, Judy Collins' voice called out to me: "Who knows where the Time goes?" My life has kind of a soundtrack, you see. Music and lyrics pop up like Pop-Up Videos throughout the events in my life. It's kinda neat, actually.
So I looked up the lyrics and turns out, she is not alone while her love is near her. I guess that leaves me out, eh? Or is my love my actual love, the love that resides within me and is part of me and IS me? Maybe I am not alone as long as I retain the capacity to love. I think I'll take that meaning from it.
For your listening pleasure: Judy Collins and "Who Knows Where the Time Goes?" Keep your love alive.~~GHC