An Open Letter to my Cat,
Thank you for the coughed-up hairball on the stairs this morning. You provided me with some early-morning aerobic exercise as I reacted in horror to the cold squishy sensation on the bottom of my right foot.
Your surprise woke me up like no caffeine could possibly do. I had figured on stumbling around blindly for an hour since I only got four hours’ sleep last night, but oh no! Your generous gift brought me immediate alertness!
You in your kitty wisdom knew I would have wasted literally minutes of valuable early morning time sitting in a semi-comatose state in front of the laptop, reading emails. Instead, I got to apply problem-solving skills such as how to hobble to the kitchen on one foot and a heel. And in all fairness, the stairs needed wiped down anyway.
We do need to talk about this whole missing-the-litter-box thing. I’d much rather scoop than sweep, if you know what I mean. But I’m willing to turn a blind eye to whatever’s happening behind the entertainment center, until next spring.