In a perfect Universe, when Doubt stands on your shoulder and whispers sweet somethings in your ear, Grace steps in.
Grace is transforming. Grace offers a safe haven that enables us to gather our courage and take action, but does not restrict us. Grace is an open shelter.
Grace's evil twin is Rationalization. Rationalization is crippling. Rationalization is a wall that blocks us in and keeps us trapped.
So how do we recognize the difference between the roof and the wall?
First, let me remind you that I am not a psychologist (nor do I play one on TV), or anything else; I am just a person like you traveling the Path. I have no authority or power. These are just my thoughts, expressed and shared with others. This is some heavy-duty stuff. Each of us is responsible for doing our own work. I'm just letting you peek at my paper.
So I am faced with the situation (carrying over from yesterday's blog post) where I need to decide whether I can trust others (Still? Ever? Someday?), or whether it is safer/more acceptable to me to choose not to trust. Note that this has nothing to do with others and everything to do with me.
Grace says, “Rest in me and it will be enough. You are safe. You can do it; you can move forward. It will be all right. I promise and I always keep my promises.” And She does.
Rationalization sidles up and whispers, “Do [or don't]; you can always change your mind later.” Rationalization is the voice that tells you to stop thinking about a situation and put it off until tomorrow. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed and confused that we rationalize in order to function.
Rationalization is like quicksand. It sucks at your shoes and prevents you from moving forward.
I'm thinking Grace allows all parties involved to move freely; Rationalization holds back the one who rationalizes while permitting the object of the rationalization to move along.
The illusion is that you are moving on. Your feet shuffle, the scenery changes, it seems like you're traveling. But in reality, you are marching in place. Rationalization says “He meant well; he wasn't trying to hurt me with those lies.”
Now we're moving into not only Motivation, but Judgment as well. This may well be a neverending series of musings, folks. Every time I think I'm coming to a natural conclusion, I find another butterfly to chase. Maybe I'm drawing closer to finding Truth?
Then again, maybe all of this is total bullshit.
Still, I find myself wanting to forgive, to let go, to refuse to hold onto anger and resentment, to trust. This represents one of Life's paradoxes. While it is simple to close one's eyes and -- poof -- blow away the chaff from one's hand, it is complicated to let go of anger and resentment.
Forgiveness and trust feel a lot alike to me. The sensation I get when I actively forgive another person is a breath of fresh air, a lightness, a positive energy. Trusting someone freely feels nearly identical.
I like how it feels.
So for Today, with the help of Grace, I choose... to trust.~~GHC