Friday, April 05, 2013

I'm Mad as Hell

When did we become so terrified of feeling/experiencing our emotions? When was it deemed dangerous to acknowledge anger? Anger is as natural as breathing, but we as a society have learned to suppress our anger. It is as effective as suppressing our breathing; it MUST come out, or we will die.

I am not advocating ACTING ON our angry feelings. Don't go out and punch the guy next door or drive across the median on your way home from work. I am encouraging us to give ourselves permission to FEEL angry and know we won't suddenly burst into flames or go to hell for it. 

We invest a tremendous amount of energy into pushing our [natural] angry feelings back into the dark corners of our brains where they fester and seek an outlet. Since we locked the exit, the anger bounces around inside and does damage. I visualize it as a grenade. Shrapnel everywhere, collateral harm. Or steam. Steam builds and requires release. It needs an outlet because eventually, it WILL explode.

Trust me, there's lots more room out here than inside. Once those feelings hit the light of day, they are more manageable. Just admitting you feel angry lets off some of that heat, dissipates some steam, relieves some tension.

Don't make love to your anger, either. Don't take it out and pet it. Don't make it into a mantra. Don't worship at its feet. It does not control you unless you give yourself to IT. It is a normal, healthy part of YOU, like hunger or desire. YOU manage your anger; it does not control you.

If you don't know how to manage your anger, don't suppress it. Read about anger management, go to a class, get some counseling. I once had a tremendous anger management problem. The message I took from anger management classes was to stuff my anger. I did that for years. 

No more. I guess the three points I want to make here are these:

1. It's okay to feel angry.
2. Express (i.e., release in a healthy manner) your anger.
3. Live healthier.

I ♥ you. Feel angry. It's okay. I promise.~~GH

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