The End of the Shamrock as We Know It

You know, I only today learned the whole "driving snakes out of Ireland" thing was a metaphor. Once that's common knowledge in the U.S., can the "sanctity" of the shamrock be far behind? Then there will be great consternation and controversy from grade school teachers who will be forced to stop compelling schoolchildren to laboriously cut out shamrocks and decorate the walls and boards with them. American Greetings and Hallmark will bankrupt from the post-Christmas slump and subsequent falloff in spring shamrock-themed sales. McDonald's Shamrock shake sales will plummet as the propaganda machine churns to a halt and stops promoting artificial green food. Angry mobs will form seeking retribution from witches, and we will have come full circle. Damned trouble-making Pagans! ~~GHC

Note: This is satire, folks. I <3 Pagans!