Bayer Birth Control Fail

Wanna see some fun in a few months? Watch this: Since the "government" has now "approved" aspirin as contraception, aspiring manufacturers will be forced to re-label their product to avoid liability. In other words, if some woman gets pregnant and claims she used the ole aspirin-between-the-knees defense and the product wasn't labeled to disclaim a certain percentage of "fail rate" and such, then the aspirin manufacturer would be liable for damages. Chew on that and when it happens, remember I said it first. ~~GHC

The End of the Shamrock as We Know It

You know, I only today learned the whole "driving snakes out of Ireland" thing was a metaphor. Once that's common knowledge in the U.S., can the "sanctity" of the shamrock be far behind? Then there will be great consternation and controversy from grade school teachers who will be forced to stop compelling schoolchildren to laboriously cut out shamrocks and decorate the walls and boards with them. American Greetings and Hallmark will bankrupt from the post-Christmas slump and subsequent falloff in spring shamrock-themed sales. McDonald's Shamrock shake sales will plummet as the propaganda machine churns to a halt and stops promoting artificial green food. Angry mobs will form seeking retribution from witches, and we will have come full circle. Damned trouble-making Pagans! ~~GHC

Note: This is satire, folks. I <3 Pagans!