Friday, December 30, 2005

The Lure of A New Beginning

Here in the Western world a new year is about to be born. 2006 will rise from 2005's ashes, full of hope and potential. We'll dress her in finery, tie her bow just so, and reassure each other that *this* year is the The Year.

I'll have an announcement to make shortly after our New Year's baby makes her debut. Until then, I'm using the last days of 2005 to reflect and quantitate what I accomplished this year.

During 2005, I submitted 91 pieces to 78 distinct markets. I had 45 acceptances.

During 2006, I hope to do better. Stay tuned to find out. And while you're waiting to read my announcement and greet the New Year's Baby, do some reflecting on your own lives. ~~GHC

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmas Magic, Version Two

Every year my oldest child comes home from college to visit. She's a couple thousand miles away, and this is the only time we get to see her. Her visit is always tangled up in intrigue. For instance, one year my husband wasn't supposed to know she was coming (but he did -- I can't remember how he found out about it). The other children and I decorated the living room with loads of huge balloons and crepe paper. When she arrived, we all hid behind the couch. Hubby was asked to stop by the house (he was at work when she was due to arrive) and we just had a big ole surprise party together. We surprised her, who surprised him, who surprised HER with some special little goodie. It was a lot of fun (and confusing).

This year is a little different. I'm not supposed to know that she's coming (but I do). She doesn't know that I know. My husband knows and so does my oldest son. Our youngest doesn't know. So I "get" the surprise this year. She's due at the airport around five this evening. She flew to her father's house in McLean, Virginia for the holidays. He's Muslim and this year he and his current wife decided not to have a Christmas tree or presents. My daughter was very depressed about spending Christmas Day with no acknowledgement of her holiday. Now we get to try and make it up to her. What fun!

So it is that I wish you and yours another Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Little Drummer Boy/Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! ~~GHC

Here's one of the few songs in my line-up not written in the mid-1700s. The words and music to "Little Drummer Boy" were composed by Katherine K. Davis, Henry Onorati and Harry Simeone in 1958. It’s about as old as I am!


Little Drummer Boy

Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
When we come.

Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
On my drum?

Mary nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

O Holy Night

Words: Placide Clappeau, 1847; trans­lat­ed from French to Eng­lish by John S. Dwight (1812-1893). Clap­peau, a wine mer­chant and may­or of Roque­maure, France, wrote po­ems for his own en­joy­ment. I imagine that's because there IS no money in writing... The music is by Adolphe C. Adam (1803-1856). O Holy Night is said to have been the first mu­sic ev­er broad­cast over a ra­dio.

My father soloed this song each year at Christmas. I guess in many ways, I associate O Holy Night with my dad and Christmas isn't Christmas without hearing it sung a few dozen times.

Click to hear.

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men from Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our Friend!
He knows our need—to our weakness is no stranger.
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!
Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Christmas Kisses, Courtesy of Mistletoe and Certs

Ten Facts About Kissing - by Jeannie Ralston

1. Record romancing. The current record for the longest kiss is held by a New Jersey couple who kissed for a record 30 hours, 59 minutes, and 27 seconds on December 5, 2001, as part of a Valentine's Day TV special.

2. Make-out workout. A passionate kiss uses up 6.4 calories per minute.

3. Oooh! Germs! During a kiss, as many as 278 colonies of bacteria are exchanged.

4. Road testing. The average American woman has kissed 79 men before she is married.

5. Sexiest screen smooches. According to a Gallup poll, the hottest kisses take place between Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh in Gone With The Wind.

6. You may kiss the bride. The nuptial kiss at the altar began during Roman times as a symbol of the spiritual union between bride and groom, who exchanged "the breath of life."

7. Slip of the tongue. The term "French kiss" came into use in prudish America in 1923 as a slur on French culture, which was thought to be shockingly oversexed.

8. When in France. Don't call it a French kiss at all. The proper, more titillating term: a "tongue kiss" or "soul kiss."

9. Kissing cousins. Ninety percent of the people of the world engage in kisses on the lips, anthropologists say. Some other cultures, such as Eskimos, use the "smell kiss" -- rubbing noses.

10. Lip smackeroos. A lipstick imprint of a kiss made by Mick Jagger's mouth once sold for $1,600.--Jeannie Ralston

Monday, December 19, 2005

Christmas Carols for the Disturbed

Maybe you're tired of Christmas carols, sick of tinsel, and if you hear another Salvation Army bell ringing you'll scream. The ornaments are still in a box somewhere in the basement; you're out of wrapping paper; and you don't want to spend $1200 on an Xbox360 for your teenaged son (even if it IS the only thing he wants this year).

These Christmas carols are for you, dear soul. Grab a bag of potato chips, put some rum in that nog, crank up Led Zeppelin and enjoy. When you're finished giggling, get those Christmas cards addressed. Heck, there's only four days till Christmas! ~~GHC

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED [Author Unknown]

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings
Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and
Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and
Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and ... .

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of
Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm
Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh
look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Walking In A Winter Wonderland

This song's fun. I think I memorized the words when I was a child and even though it isn't a hymn, I definitely associate it with Christmas. Below are the lyrics to a silly parody by -- who else? -- Weird Al Yankovic. I nearly fell out of my chair laughing the first time I heard it. I love to make up cranked lyrics too. If Al and I ever put our heads together, look out world! ~~GHC


Winter Wonderland (by Dick Smith, Felix Bernard 1934)

Click to hear.

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
in the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
we're happy tonight,
walking in a winter wonderland.

Gone away is the bluebird,
here to stay is a new bird
He sings a love song,
as we go along,
walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
we'll say: No man,
But you can do the job
when you're in town.

Later on, we'll conspire,
as we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
the plans that we've made,
walking in a winter wonderland.

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
in the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
we're happy tonight,
walking in a winter wonderland.

Gone away is the bluebird,
here to stay is a new bird
He sings a love song,
as we go along,
walking in a winter wonderland.


In the meadow we can build a snowman,
and pretend that he's a circus clown
We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman,
until the alligators knock him down.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a chilling
We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way,
walking in a winter wonderland.

Walking in a winter wonderland,
walking in a winter wonderland.

-----------------
Weird Al Yankovic Lyrics - Walking Around In Women's Underwear Lyrics

Lacey things your wife is missin'
Didn't ask for her permission

I'm wearin' her clothes, her silk panty hose
Walkin round' in women's underwear
In the store there's a teddy
with little straps like spaghetti
It holds me so tight like handcuffs at night
Walkin' round in women's underwear

In the office there's a guy named Melvin
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown
He'll say "are you ready?" we'll say "WOW! Man...lets wait until the wife is outta town!"
Later on if you wanna, we can dress like Madonna
Put on some high shade and join the parade
Walkin' round' in women's underwear

Lacey things...missin'
didn't ask permision
wearin her clothes, her silk panty hose
Walkin' round' in women's underwear
Walkin' round' in women's underwear
Walkin' round' in women's underwear

Saturday, December 17, 2005

The First Noel

Finally, a Christmas carol that doesn't cause my eyes to tear when I hear it! I think it just has an overall happy, upbeat feeling. It's believed to have been written in the 17th century, passed down orally, and finally written in a book of Christmas carols in 1833. ~~GHC

Click to listen.

The First Noel

The First Noel, the Angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay
In fields where they lay keeping their sheep
On a cold winter's night that was so deep.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

They looked up and saw a star
Shining in the East beyond them far
And to the earth it gave great light
And so it continued both day and night.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

And by the light of that same star
Three Wise men came from country far
To seek for a King was their intent
And to follow the star wherever it went.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

This star drew nigh to the northwest
O'er Bethlehem it took its rest
And there it did both Pause and stay
Right o'er the place where Jesus lay.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

Then entered in those Wise men three
Full reverently upon their knee
And offered there in His presence
Their gold and myrrh and frankincense.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

Then let us all with one accord
Sing praises to our heavenly Lord
That hath made Heaven and earth of nought
And with his blood mankind has bought.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

Friday, December 16, 2005

We Three Kings of Orient (Are)

Reverend John Henry Hopkins wrote "We Three Kings of Orient Are" in 1857. I wonder if he ever in his wildest dreams imagined that one day children would sing happily about a “rubber cigar” to his tune?

Click to listen.

We Three Kings of Orient (Are)

We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star

O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to thy Perfect Light

Born a King on Bethlehem's plain
Gold I bring to crown Him again
King forever, ceasing never
Over us all to rein

O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light

Frankincense to offer have I
Incense owns a Deity nigh
Pray'r and praising, all men raising
Worship Him, God most high

O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light

Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes of life of gathering gloom
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb

O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light

Glorious now behold Him arise
King and God and Sacrifice
Alleluia, Alleluia
Earth to heav'n replies

O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Angels We Have Heard on High

My heart soars when I hear this Christmas carol. When I was younger, (before I smoked) I could hit all the highest notes. My daughter hits them now, and the beauty of the music makes me weep with happiness.

To Listen, click here.

Lyrics:

Angels we have heard on high

Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing o'er the plains,
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains.
Refrain
Gloria, in excelsis Deo!
Gloria, in excelsis Deo!

Shepherds, why this jubilee?
Why your joyous strains prolong?
What the gladsome tidings be
Which inspire your heavenly song? Refrain

Come to Bethlehem and see
Christ whose birth the angels sing;
Come, adore on bended knee,
Christ the Lord, the newborn King. Refrain

See Him in a manger laid,
Whom the choirs of angels praise;
Mary, Joseph, lend your aid,
While our hearts in love we raise. Refrain


Words: Traditional French carol;
trans. James Chadwick, 1862.
Music: Gloria

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Mount Zion Speculative Fiction Review Available Now!

The premiere issue of Mount Zion Speculative Fiction Review is back from the printers and available for purchase. If you'd like to read my first published horror story, please click on the link and purchase a copy of the magazine dedicated to Appalachian horror.

God knows there's enough of it out there -- about time someone dedicated a magazine to it! Be the first one on your block to own a copy of Mount Zion Speculative Fiction Review. Tell 'em Ginger sent ya!

Monday, December 12, 2005

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Here’s another Christmas song that brings me to tears with its pureness and simplicity. The words and music were written by husband and wife team Noel Regney & Gloria Shayne in 1962.

If you have five minutes and would like to read the origin of this song (it’s as beautiful as the song itself), click here to read an article on the making of a Christmas classic.

Click to listen.

"Do You Hear What I Hear"

Said the night wind to the little lamb
"Do you see what I see?"
Way up in the sky, little lamb
Do you see what I see?

A star, a star, dancing in the night
With a tail as big as a kite
With a tail as big as a kite

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy
"Do you hear what I hear?"
Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy
Do you hear what I hear?

A song, a song, high above the trees
With a voice as big as the sea
With a voice as big as the sea

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king
"Do you know what I know?"
In your palace, oh, mighty king
Do you know what I know?

A child, a child, shivers in the cold
Let us bring him silver and gold
Let us bring him silver and gold

Said the king to the people everywhere
"Listen to what I say"
Pray for peace people everywhere
Listen to what I say

A child, a child, sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light
He will bring us goodness and light

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Silent Night/Stille Nacht -- Richard Pryor, 65, Dead of a Heart Attack

Below is my intended post for today, Silent Night. It is indeed a silent night with the loss of an amazing talent -- someone I'd hoped to meet in person one day -- the unequaled Richard Pryor. He passed away Saturday following a heart attack.

"There are many different kinds of comedians ... the observational humorist, the impressionist, the character creator, the physical comedian, the self-deprecator, and the dirty-joke teller. What made Richard Pryor so brilliant is he was able to incorporate all these styles at once," comedian Damon Wayans wrote on Pryor's Web site. Read the entire story here.
-------------------------------
Widely considered the world's most popular Christmas carol, Silent Night was written in Austria in 1818 (music by Franz Xaver Gruber; words by Joseph Franz Mohr). It was translated into English by John Freeman Young in 1863. Today only verses 1, 6, and 2 of Joseph Mohr's original lyrics are sung.

How many of you remember when this carol always had the German lyrics with it? I've included them below the English lyrics. Enjoy! ~~GHC

Click to listen.

Silent Night

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

* * *
Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht!
Alles schläft, einsam wacht
Nur das traute hochheilige Paar.
Holder Knabe im lockigen Haar,
Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh,
Schlaf in himmlischer Ruh

Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht,
Hirten erst kundgemacht
Durch der Engel Hallelujah,
Tönt es laut von fern und nah,
Christ, der Retter ist da,
Christ, der Retter ist da!

Stille Nacht, heilige Nacht,
Gottes Sohn, o wie lacht
Lieb aus Deinem göttlichen Mund,
Da uns schlägt die rettende Stund,
Christ, in Deiner Geburt,
Christ, in Deiner Geburt!

Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

Charles Wesley’s “Hark The Herald Angels Sing” (1739) has both marvelous music (by Mendelssohn, 1840) and lovely lyrics. Unfortunately, the verses are long and most books/hymnals omit the fourth one. I include it here.

What is a herald angel? Well, one of my brothers is named Harold and we used to tease him mercilessly with this song. But the definition of herald is one who carries or proclaims important news; a messenger.~~GHC

1. Hark! The herald angels sing,
“Glory to the newborn King;
Peace on earth, and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled!”
Joyful, all ye nations rise,
Join the triumph of the skies;
With th’angelic host proclaim,
“Christ is born in Bethlehem!”
Refrain
Hark! the herald angels sing,
“Glory to the newborn King!”

2. Christ, by highest Heav’n adored;
Christ the everlasting Lord;
Late in time, behold Him come,
Offspring of a virgin’s womb.
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see;
Hail th’incarnate Deity,
Pleased with us in flesh to dwell,
Jesus our Emmanuel.
Refrain

3. Hail the heav’nly Prince of Peace!
Hail the Sun of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings,
Ris’n with healing in His wings.
Mild He lays His glory by,
Born that man no more may die.
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth.
Refrain

4. Come, Desire of nations, come,
Fix in us Thy humble home;
Rise, the woman’s conqu’ring Seed,
Bruise in us the serpent’s head.
Now display Thy saving power,
Ruined nature now restore;
Now in mystic union join
Thine to ours, and ours to Thine.
Refrain

5. Adam’s likeness, Lord, efface,
Stamp Thine image in its place:
Second Adam from above,
Reinstate us in Thy love.
Let us Thee, though lost, regain,
Thee, the Life, the inner man:
O, to all Thyself impart,
Formed in each believing heart.
Refrain

Angels We Have Heard on High

My heart soars when I hear this Christmas carol. When I was younger, (before I smoked) I could hit all the highest notes. My daughter hits them now, and the beauty of the music makes me weep with happiness.

To Listen, click here.

Lyrics:

Angels we have heard on high

Angels we have heard on high
Sweetly singing o'er the plains,
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains.
Refrain
Gloria, in excelsis Deo!
Gloria, in excelsis Deo!

Shepherds, why this jubilee?
Why your joyous strains prolong?
What the gladsome tidings be
Which inspire your heavenly song? Refrain

Come to Bethlehem and see
Christ whose birth the angels sing;
Come, adore on bended knee,
Christ the Lord, the newborn King. Refrain

See Him in a manger laid,
Whom the choirs of angels praise;
Mary, Joseph, lend your aid,
While our hearts in love we raise. Refrain


Words: Traditional French carol;
trans. James Chadwick, 1862.
Music: Gloria

Carol of the Bells

My favorite Christmas song is the “Carol of the Bells.” How can anyone listen to this glorious piece of music and not feel excited and then wistful as the bells fade away at the end?

The music for the very popular holiday song, "Carol of the Bells," was created by the Ukraine's most popular composer, Mykola Dmytrovich Leontovych (1877-1921). (More).

(Note: Below the traditional lyrics are some spoof lyrics that my son turned me on to. Be sure and check 'em out -- they're hilarious!) ~~GHC

Lyrics:

Hark how the bells,
sweet silver bells,
all seem to say,
throw cares away

Christmas is here,
bringing good cheer,
to young and old,
meek and the bold,

Oh how they pound,
raising the sound,
o'er hill and dale,
telling their tale,

Gaily they ring
while people sing
songs of good cheer,
Christmas is here,

Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas,
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas,
On on they send ,
on without end,
their joyful tone to every home
Dong Ding dong ding, dong Bong


* * *

Funny Lyrics to "Carol of the Bells"

It's a BK Holiday!

I work at burger king making flame broiled whoppers
I wear paper hats
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Would you like an apple pie with that?

Ding fries are done (x4)

I gotta run (x4)

Don't bob for fries in hot vat it really hurts bad and so do skin grafts
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Would you like an apple pie with that?

Where is the bell?
Wait for the bell
Can't hear the bell
Where is the bell?

Ding fries are done (x4)

I work at burger king making flame broiled whoppers
I wear paper hats
Would you like an apple pie with that?
Would you like an apple pie with that?

Ding fries are done (x4)

(Thanks to the owner of The Cripple Store for providing the lyrics.)
http://load.pquinn.com/binaries/fries/

Friday, December 09, 2005

Happy Birthday, Jeremiah!

Jeremiah's sixteen today -- sweet sixteen and never been kissed. He's embarrassed by this fact and some of his peers even tease him about it. I think it's wonderful. I told him that "the best kisses of your life come after you're sixteen. Maybe it'll be when your first child slobbers rice cereal on you, or perhaps when the minister says 'I do' and your wife's kiss takes your breath away. But trust me, the best kisses come after you're sixteen!"

I've been toying around with "The Party Line." I tweaked the first two paragraphs and, no, I'm not satisfied with them, but here goes:

The Plunderbund

The neighborhood phone tree operated with deadly results if not complete accuracy. Lydia Glunger crouched beneath a weeping willow tree and lit a cigarette at 3p.m. She knew despite chewing three sticks of gum that when she walked in the door smiling and Dentyne-fresh at 3:15, her mother would already know of her indiscretion. Mrs. Jennings saw Lydia smoking, called Mrs. Rectenwald, who then called Mrs. Walker who had three ladies on her party line. Those three ladies scooted to their respective back fences and whispered the news to their neighbors who, in turn, dashed back inside to spread the gossip to _their_ best friends. Poor Lydia didn’t stand a chance. For all its faults, the phone tree was more effective than Dentyne.

The worst aspect of the phone tree was its propensity to embellish the crime. At the drop of a lacy handkerchief, a Salem snuck under the willow tree might become a pot party by the time the news made its way around the community. An innocent conversation behind the gym could balloon and become a passionate tryst on its way down the phone tree. The old game “Gossip” came by its name honestly. So one Sunday morning when the neighborhood ladies spied Lydia Glunger’s blue Impala slathered in white shoe polish sentiments and festooned with wilted crepe paper, the phone tree kicked into high gear. In half an hour the news spread through kitchen extensions and back fences around the entire hill. Never mind that Lydia had only been a bridesmaid. It didn’t matter that she’d allowed the bride and groom to borrow her car and the wedding party had besmirched it. Forget that Lydia -- exhausted when she retrieved the Impala hours after her friends’ Saturday afternoon wedding -- drove it home without stopping at the carwash. As far as the party line was concerned, this was the scoop of the decade: Lydia Glunger was married.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Counting Sheep at the Funeral Home (excerpt)

My older children, James and Mena, were two and five respectively when we created my favorite Christmas memory. A local funeral home sponsors a nativity display each year featuring live sheep. I invited Mena's best friend Cerissa along for the adventure. I thought it’d be a unique experience for the children.

How right I was.

Life-sized statues of Mary and Joseph stood, attached to the roof of the creche’ by wires. Between them was an infant-sized Baby Jesus. Mulling inside the wooden corral were eight or nine live sheep. About two dozen families crowded around the fence to admire the display. Cerissa marveled at the sheep and commented on how sweet Mary's expression was. Mena noted how human-like the sheep's eyes were. Several other folks sharing the experience murmured in agreement. It was a truly lovely, peaceful Hallmark moment.

Poor James was so small that he couldn't see Jesus because of the crowd. I lifted him and set him down inside the corral. In a few seconds, a sheep backed up and knocked into James. Defending his territory or just being a two year old, James slapped its behind. Bleating in fear, the animal lurched away and dashed for the sanctuary of the creche’. The other sheep sensed danger and followed the first one’s lead. One by one they leapt over baby Jesus and disappeared into the stable. The Mary and Joseph statues spun wildly on their wires as each sheep's generous hindquarters bumped them. I hadn't realized how many people were there until I heard raucous laughter. A few witnesses even applauded.

We now view the live nativity scene each year from the safety of the car, even though they’re both nearly grown. You just can’t count on sheep.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Getting Ready for Christmas

Got in the holiday mood today. It snowed -- not enough to accumulate but enough to make me want to bake. The children and I baked cookies, creamy coconut macaroons and yummy peanut butter cookies. The tree stands in a corner of the living room, butt nekked as far as ornaments or lights go, natural as the day it was born -- er, manufactured. We're going low-key this year and between you and me, I'm not overly excited about not having oodles of ornaments and lights. Shh.

Today is a special day for me in more than one way. It was my father's birthday. Hard to believe, but it was 21 years ago today that the MIC disaster occurred in Bohpal, India. And six years ago today I found out I had breast cancer. It snowed that day too. In fact, it snowed on every one of the big days I had (diagnosis, each one of my surgeries, chemo days). I remember driving to my husband's work and trying to wait until he got off before telling him what the doctor said. Finally I broke down and cried. He left work early and we went out to dinner, to talk and make a game plan. It was a Chinese restaurant and even though Chinese food is one of my favorites, I could never eat at that restaurant again after that. We sat, picking at our food, talking quietly and staring out the windows at the snow flurries.

For the longest time I associated snow and December 3rd with bad news. Tincture of time has softened my memories and once again I think of Dad. So Daddy, here's a cup of eggnog in your honor. [_]D Enjoy it!

Love,
Ginger

Thursday, December 01, 2005

December's Guest Short Story Author at THE DEN

I learned today that one of my stories, Bicycle Charlie and the Cats, was accepted as the story of the month in The Den. I'm stoked about this; in fact, I needed a confirmation to keep me going, and this certainly did it for me!

So click the link and check it out. It's a wild tale, not quite a tall tale but darned close. It's what happens when good cats go bad...